TOO HOT (hot damn)!

**This post does include affiliate links. I’m so grateful to you for helping to support the awesome people who help to support XOXO, Lib**

I interrupt your… whatever you’re doing to inform you that ModCloth is having an incredible sale right now. It is so great. Everything that’s currently on sale, will be an additional 40% off at checkout if you use offer code: TOOHOT through 7/22.

So what does that mean exactly? It means that it will be boot season before you know it and you’ll have gotten your new favorite pair for $17.99 while all the suckers will get stuck paying $49.99.

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The Honor and the Sacredness

“You’ve been married for over a year now! Time to have some kids!” “You’re not getting any younger!” “When are you going to start a family?” “Oh! You got a dog? That should tide you over until some kids come along.”

There have been a few times in my life when I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, what I was supposed to do and what I wanted.
When I was deciding which college to attend, I prayed for certainty and I received an illogical, deep confidence that I was supposed to go to this specific college in this specific city at this specific time. And I did that and I came away from it with a degree that I have never used and a few friends that I would gladly spend dozens of thousands of dollars to meet again.
When my friend Ryan took a long lunch break and came to my house and told me he couldn’t wait one more minute—he had to tell me he loved me and asked me to be his partner in this life and I had so many questions and so many doubts and what-if’s swimming through my mind but my soul screamed louder inside of me, “This is something big for you. Take this and protect it!”

Everything else—I’ve just been winging it. I’ve never felt called to anything in my life.

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PicMonkey Collage

What I’m Talking About When I Talk About White Privilege and #blacklivesmatter

When you’re reading about how to be a good writer, a lot of the good advice that I’ve heard and tried to take on is the idea that when I’m writing, I’m writing to people who are like me. What I mean by that is that I’m writing to the perspective that I know and understand. I’m writing, largely to women or to people who live in small towns or to people who grew up in a very religious culture or to people who are interested in feminism and shopping and self-care and the value of humanity. You don’t have to fit all of those categories to belong here. You don’t even have to fit into any of them to belong here. Everyone is welcome if everyone is willing to understand that their point of view might not always be reflected in my words. Because they’re my words.

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Stories Make Change: Update 2

**trigger warning: sexual assault**

I’m blown away by the response that I’ve already received regarding our Stories Make Change post, asking for stories. If you missed that post I really want to ask you to please go back and read it.

But for the TL;DR version:
I want to collect stories from women and men that share, from personal experience, what non-consent has looked like in their lives and the effect that remains. I want to post those stories (anonymously) to keep the conversation going and to change the general consensus of what sexual harm is.

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If/ Then…

What if we get a little light hearted around here? Things have been so heavy, lately. Here’s a new series entitled “If/ Then…”

If you’ve been really liking all the pictures of my cat on my instagram…
then you’re really going to love photos of our new dog! Fiona came to live with us one week ago, today.:)
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Virtual Book Club: The Secret Life of Bees and July Selection Announcement!

Sorry (I ain’t sorr’) to say that this is not a spoiler free review. I guess I figure if a book has been around long enough for the movie version to be past the New Release rack, it’s all fair game.

I’ve sat down to write this review for The Secret Life of Bees so many different times and I just can’t figure out what to say. And it’s not because there’s nothing to say. It’s because how do you put words on that feeling you get when you’re broken open and speechless?

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Announcing the #XOXOSummerSelfie challenge!

“Now maybe there’s a lesson I’ve been given
Or some wisdom from the stories that I need to tell.
And everybody’s hoping and scraping and wishing
They could be something outside themselves.
If I can be me, then you can be yourself.”
Tunde Olaniran

We’re only half way through 2016 and I feel like we’re due for a pick-me-up. I feel like we’re beyond due. World—what are you doing to yourself?

So I think to myself, what’s one thing that almost always perks up my mood? And you know what it is? It’s when I’m feeling bored or feeling sad and I’m scrolling through my Instagram feed and I see a photo of one of my dear friends. Endorphins just start shooting all over the place. It’s magnificent! Don’t you love it? Image(31)


Anyway, so how’s about another Selfie Challenge?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I believe in selfies as a form of radical self-love. I think it’s crucial to proper self-development to get used to seeing yourself and sharing yourself. It can sometimes be really brave and it can sometimes be fishing for compliments and sometimes you’re just feeling yourself. And all of those reasons and so many more are very, very okay!



We did a Selfie Challenge back in February and we had 725 participating photographs on Instagram! My goal is to go for over a thousand this time. Do you think we can make it happen? I mean, the fact that July is longer than February will help. And readership has grown since then (hi new people!!). And you love to share posts on social media and get your friends involved—I see you! So I think a thousand is a perfectly attainable goal. The more the merrier is not only a cliché—it’s also a solid truth. In this instance.

Rules: Starting Friday, July 1st, anyone who wants to contribute can! You don’t have to do it every day—though that IS the challenge of it. You don’t even have to follow the list of themes. You make this into whatever works for you. But in the end, I want our community to come together over celebration of ourselves and each other because that’s the way that we make this weird world a better place to exist.
The only real rule is that you take a photo that contains at least a little bit of yourself in it and then upload that photo to Instagram with the hashtag:
#xoxosummerselfie .

Here’s a calendar that I made with some suggested themes for each day—for those of us who like a little direction.


Save this to your phone and refer back to it every day.

Last time we did this, I left you with a song to get you pumped up for the month ahead of us. Don’t think that I left you song-less this time.

I hope you already know about Tunde Olaniran but just in case you don’t, I give you his mind blowing song, “Namesake” which has become my fight song lately.

“Now maybe there’s a lesson I’ve been given
Or some wisdom from the stories that I need to tell
And everybody’s hoping and scraping and wishing
They could be something outside themselves
If I can be me, then you can be yourself
Might not be easy, it’s like we’re never satisfied

See you on Friday!