Page 42: Chapter 2; Page 1

The last time that I wrote anything here, Ryan and I had just gotten engaged. And then I entered into this 9 month long phase where the only thing that I thought about, the only thing anyone asked me about, the only thing I could write about was the upcoming wedding. Not only did it feel like the kind of thing that I assumed was boring to everyone, it was becoming boring to me. As our wedding day approached, the thing that I tended to look forward to the most was the fact that I could go back to my normal life with normal thoughts and not be so self-obsessed.

Here's an obligatory wedding photo of us walking one another down the aisle.
Here’s an obligatory wedding photo of us walking one another down the aisle.

We’re married, now, and I feel like I can write again. I feel like I’m my normal self again–like there’s not something I should be doing. There’s nothing to be done but sit here with my laptop warming my legs. That and organize all of the added stuff in our house but that will still be here, tomorrow.

Maybe one day I’ll write all about the wedding on here but for right now I’m just going to cozy up in my brain that isn’t filled up with party details and organizing things and answering the question “how can I help?” I did write about it–don’t worry. As soon as we had the energy, we went to the book store and I bought a journal. I wanted to write down everything that I could remember about our wedding because I could already feel a lot of it fading away and getting blurry. I wanted to remember details like how I got to drive everywhere with Jamie on the day of and how Katie was the one who zipped up my dress and who were the people who were digging cars out of the mud?

So I wrote all of that and ever since then, I haven’t missed a day of journaling. I used to journal every day. From 12th grade through my first year after college. I wrote every day. And then sometime when I was living in South Dakota I stopped all together. At the time, I was going through some things that I thought I really didn’t ever want to remember so I made no record of it. That definitely got me out of the habit. But I’m happy to be back in it, again. I’ve been living a noteworthy life for so long and no one had been keeping notes.

And writing begets writing so I think I might be back over here, too. It feels really good to be back.
I can’t promise anything more exciting than what you see here right now but that’s okay with me.


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