What Happens at Planned Parenthood?

February 3, 2017February 3, 2017 Libbyhealth care, Planned Parenthood, women's health2 Comments

Planned Parenthood, at least in my corner of the world, is deeply misunderstood as a veritable abortion factory that claims to exist for women’s health but doesn’t really do much else. Don’t misunderstand me, I completely honor a person’s right to hate abortion–and that is a service that is provided at a lot of Planned Parenthoods (though not all). I also think that it’s important to know that if our strong convictions are rooted in truth, then they can withstand research, accountability, and honoring the lived-in experiences of others. I believe there’s space for both.

You know that I believe more than anything that stories make change. Facts and figures are crucial and important to understanding an issue. Also, I believe that our hearts are changed and moved when we hear about the lives of others. Because of that, I’m going to share with you the stories of five women that I know and their experiences with Planned Parenthood. Take a listen:

I went at 20 for my first pregnancy to get a pregnancy confirmation to be able to get on Medicaid. They were super friendly. I felt CRAZY self conscious walking in there knowing their reputation in my circle at the time. The biggest thing I remember is how surprised the lady helping was when I expressed happiness about my pregnancy. That didn’t seem to be her norm (she said as much). I think I made her day. They were great and I wouldn’t hesitate to go back. I was treated with dignity there, I wasn’t lectured, I wasn’t spoken down to. This has NOT been my experience at the health department when I have gone there for subsequent pregnancies. –Mary-Dawn

Planned parenthood and I are old friends. I went there to get birth control for the first time. After I was raped, I had an abortion. I was tested for STDs. I went there for family planning after I got married to protect my marriage and my life from unplanned pregnancy. The doctors and nurses and volunteers I met saved my life more than once. They educated me and reminded me of my right to be educated and aware about my body and my sexuality. They comforted me through what have, so far been the most trying times of my young adult life. I went in young and afraid and alone and I came out a confident, educated, prepared adult. I trusted planned parenthood with my life and they proved me right. They continue to show me that I did the right thing. I will fight for them the way that they fought for me. -Kristin

I was in my early 20s, unemployed and without health insurance. There is a history of breast cancer in my family, so when I thought I had found a lump, I was terrified. I knew I couldn’t afford a doctor’s visit, so I started looking into options. Planned Parenthood was my best choice. I was still a part of the world of Christian fundamentalism and was so scared going into the clinic. I prayed I wouldn’t see anyone that I knew outside protesting (as pro-life protests often happened there) for fear of their assumptions. Thankfully I didn’t. I got a quick manual exam and they decided to refer me for a mammogram. They didn’t cover the cost of that (my PP visit was free though) but put me in touch with a partner organization who would pay; I just had to submit a bill. The staff at PP wrote the referral and made the appointment with a specialist, but that was the extent of their involvement. Still, as someone who was young and scared, I was thankful to have someone guiding me through the process. -Elena

I was having pain in my pelvis and since I just recently moved to Cincinnati, I didn’t have a gynecologist to call up. I decided to go to Planned Parenthood because the only other option I saw was to go to the emergency room or urgent care. When I got to Planned Parenthood,I was seen by a midwife named Gwynn. She did a thorough examination, complete with my pregnancy history. When she discovered that I had two miscarriages in the last year (which is not the reason I had made the appointment) and she told me that she was sad that I hadn’t reached out for medical support for the most recent miscarriage. You could tell that babies and birth were her passion. After discovering that I had a cyst on my ovary, she referred me to a doctor who would focus on my infertility struggles and would also be able to treat and diagnose my cysts. I had an INCREDIBLY positive experience at that time.
My second experience with Planned Parenthood was when they were calling for volunteers to canvas the neighborhoods on Election Day to offer rides to people who were unable to get out and vote. We weren’t asking people to vote republican or democrat. We were simply asking them to VOTE! I went with my son and we were teamed up with a Planned Parenthood employee and it was a wonderful experience for my son and I. -Sarah

When I moved to my small, Western Kansas town, I didn’t have health insurance, and my husband and I were so broke, I couldn’t imagine getting pregnant. I looked for a PP, and found one in Hays. The PA there was amazing. Everyone was so friendly and helpful, and I got my birth control prescription for cheap. I continued to go there even after I had insurance because I liked her so much. She came to recognize me, and when I decided to start to try and have children, she recommended me to an OB. I noticed a year later that my PP was shut down, and six months after that a Catholic Charities had taken its place. I wonder where young women out here can get exams and birth control now without going to the hospital. I wonder where they go when they need help. My PP made me feel like I was taken care of, and I still wonder how on earth they could get shut down in an area they were so desperately needed. -Alyssa

Are you hearing these things?
Everyone was so helpful; I was so young and scared; we were so broke; my visit was free; they referred me; babies and birth were her passion.
“I went in young and afraid and alone and I came out a confident, educated, prepared adult.”

I just put out a quick call on Facebook asking friends to send me their stories and a few did. This is every story that I received in just a few hours’ time. I didn’t hunt and find the best or most flattering ones–this is it. I’ll bet that if you asked the same question, you’ll receive similar stories.

Yes, you can get care in a doctor’s office, if you can afford it. Yes, you can get inexpensive care at the local health department, if it’s a place that you feel safe and cared for. Also, yes, you can go to Planned Parenthood, too. You deserve quality care and you deserve options. It is an option. It is an option that is fighting hard to continue to serve the underserved in your community.

In honor of these women (who were brave to share these stories at a time when the internet is particularly hostile), and for other women and men (yes, men use Planned Parenthood, too) like them who desperately need healthcare and can’t afford it, I make contributions to Planned Parenthood and if you feel so inclined, I hope that you do, too. Your gift will be shared equally between your local Planned Parenthood affiliate and Planned Parenthood Federation of America.

I welcome your comments, but I ask that you honor the real human beings that wrote these stories, today. You’re always wonderful, though, so I know there’s nothing to worry about.

XOXO, Lib

Peacekeeping/ Peacemaking: Neither is Likely on Facebook

January 24, 2017 Libbyfacebook, peace, women's march1 Comment

I have come to the conclusion that I am no longer interested in playing the role of the peacekeeper. Instead, I choose a more active position—that of peacemaker.

The peacekeeper flits about, doing all she can to make sure that things are fine and happy on the surface level. No one gets too ruffled. No one raises too much of a fuss. She’s an expert at anticipating the needs of another person who can not be bothered to recognize all the work she’s putting in to keep the waters still. Running herself ragged to make sure that someone else doesn’t run themselves at all. We ignore anything marginally uncomfortable by means of either distraction or denial and in that, we perpetuate this very calm, very idealized façade. An overturned couch cushion to hide a stain. A closet stuffed with mess that we couldn’t possibly let company see—building up and building up until it becomes more than we can handle on our own and we drown in it.

Peacemakers, on the other hand, we’re going to pull everything out of that closet and get to the bottom of it. It’s going to be messy for a while until it’s all been dealt with properly but once it’s organized, all it requires is a commitment to dealing with each little mess as it comes. We will do the hard work in the immediate, knowing that we’re paying tomorrow’s bill. Hear me! We might make a mess! But it will pay off! That is why I am choosing peacemaker.

I am neither, at times, and I am also both. Choosing the peacemaker role will never come as naturally to me but I will commit to doing it as often as I recognize that I have a choice in the matter.

As peacemakers, we have a duty to create peace in the lives of ourselves and others. The act of creating peace can be quite messy but it can also be quite simple. Sometimes it means speaking up for a co-worker whose voice has been spoken over several times. Sometimes it means taking to the streets—turning out in record numbers to let the new man in power know that there are things he has promised that we’ll fight tooth and nail against. You have to fight to keep peace. I know, it sounds like a double-negative but when you think of who currently holds the peace and who is literally dying for it, it’s easier to understand.

Remember back in time with me a little bit: after the election, the internet was a frustrating place to be. Do you remember what it was like? It was hard to spend much time on Facebook without feeling disheartened. I spent a few days just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling—looking for something that would explain to me what I was feeling and why. I think we all know that if you’re looking for what’s in your soul, Facebook is a terrible place to hunt for it.

But the election passed and we all gradually came back after our hiatuses and kept sharing cat videos or photos of baby animals wrapped up like burritos to one another.

FRANCE-US-POLITICS-WOMEN-DEMO — Paris Women’s March Photo: The New York Times

And then it was the inauguration—quickly followed by the Women’s March. I mostly didn’t have anything to say about the inauguration so I didn’t. But the Women’s March made my heart swell! I was filled with all this pride! The speakers! The record numbers! The way that the whole world stood together to say, “See us? We’re going to hold this new administration accountable to caring for everyone.” I was floating on Feminist Cloud Nine!
But shock of all shocks… I felt my Facebook interactions beginning to mimic those that I was having around the time of the election, again. Facebook wasn’t safe and fun anymore. While this likely surprised no one else, this shocked me. To put it in the most childlike terms: before, my team lost. And that’s why I thought that I was upset on the internet. This time my team did something awesome and I was still upset on the internet. It seems that the common denominator was, in fact, me on the internet.

I did a much better job, this time. I chose not to comment far more often than I actually did. And when I did comment, I was usually very careful with my words (except for a time or two when I ended up deleting things I’d said). I am not apologetic about the way I behaved on the internet. Even still, after these precautions were taken, I still found myself totally unsatisfied and just scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, searching for something to make my soul feel better. And of course, we all know I didn’t find it. Because the thing that feeds my soul is not on the internet. It’s not in making people agree with me. And then I remembered something super important: Facebook is a voluntary activity.

It’s almost impossible to be a peacemaker on Facebook. I think it’s a great tool to use to help organize but as far as enacting change? The comment section of a tired meme is quite useless for that.

Most conversations in that space are all about trying to get someone to agree with you if they don’t already. And if they already do, a lot of the time it’s just patting ourselves on the back about how right we are. I think I’d rather talk to people in person. Don’t you? In person, I don’t know what a person’s political affiliations are because rarely does anyone have a photo of an eagle carrying a machine gun under the American flag instead of a face. I don’t care if they agree with my excitement over the women’s march. I just want to talk about books with that person—or swap recipes—or ask how their day is. In person when I disagree with someone I find myself much more eager to find out where they’re coming from. I feel like they hear me, too. In person, people almost never call one another mean names when there’s a minor misunderstanding. In person, people are a lot more forgiving and graceful.

In person, you can be the peacemaker.

XOXO, Lib

PS: If you’re interested in the concept of Peacemaker VS Peacekeeper, you might also be interested in this post I happened upon the other day called Nice Girls VS Kind Women.

It Sounds Terrifying and Awesome. Let’s Do It

January 10, 2017January 10, 2017 Libbybeauty standards, boudoir, celebrate you, fatshion, photoshoot, plus size fashion6 Comments

Ever since the incredible Kalene of Blue Muse Photography asked me to be a part of this project, I knew I wanted to write about it.

Ever since I got the results back on the reader survey that I sent out into the internet, and I read about how many of you are challenged by your own sense of body image, I knew I wanted to write about it.

Ever since Saturday afternoon when Kat and I were driving home from this exciting, mind-shifting experience, I knew I wanted to write about it.

Ever since Kalene showed me these final (not-photoshopped) photos and I squealed over them, I knew I wanted to write about it.

Man, but what is there to say when I don’t have any words? Or, rather, I have so many words that I can’t form them into anything coherent? But I know I need to write about it so here we go, I’m going to just do it and allow the magic that happens when you trust the process take shape.

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My Final Notes on the Past Week: Do Better, Be Better

November 14, 2016November 15, 2016 Libbydo better, donate, presidential election, service2 Comments

This is the last thing I’ll post about the 2016 Presidential Election, I promise. Because this is not a political blog. This is a blog that focuses on thoughts, feelings, and living well. But because this is a blog that focuses on those things, I have to tell you about my thoughts, feelings, and how I’m living. Well…

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Fem Friday feat. Jennifer

June 10, 2016June 8, 2016 Libbyage, Art, california, feminism, Kansas, media, style1 Comment

This is part of a long series of posts which will be known as Feminist Fridays. Because individuality is at the heart of feminism, I’m going to open up this space to different people to share with us a little portion of their unique journey.
Catch up with previous Feminist Friday posts here.

Ever since I started this series, my friends have been telling me, “You’ve got to talk to Jennifer Randall!” And I put it off for a while because I felt intimidated and awkward because we’ve never met but I’m so glad that I did. Jennifer talks about media, art, age, and beauty in a way that I’d never explored, before. She gives a fresh, learned perspective that we are lucky to get to experience. My conversation with Jennifer has been so good for my soul and I hope it’s good for you, too. I’m going to recommend coming back to this over and over again because, truth be told, there’s just too much gold in here to gather all at once.

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