Here are a few things that I’ve noticed:
1. I don’t binge anymore. I know that might not be a huge deal to anyone else but I used to get in these I-feel-awful-about-myself-so-I’m-going-to-eat-this-whole-tub-of-cottage-cheese-with-the-refrigerator-door-wide-open trances. Or, maybe that’s just oversharing…
At any rate, I haven’t done that at all this month. That’s something that stopped immediately on day one. My hypothesis is that when my body is full on helpful calories, it’s not really lacking anything and therefore it doesn’t really want anything else. I don’t really have an effortless way to test out that idea, though, so I’m going to just go with it. And also, when you’re making a concerted effort to not eat junk, guess what? You just don’t eat as much junk. I know, blew my mind too.
2. I went to a wedding this weekend. There were, like, half a dozen kinds of cake. There were snickerdoodles! There were brownies! I looked at my boyfriend and said, “I’m an adult and I’m choosing to let myself eat sugar, today.” And he tried to warn me. And I should have listened but some lessons I just have to learn the hard way.
I know I just said that I haven’t binged but this wasn’t a binge. This was a celebration!! Two slices of cake, little brownie hunks, cookies, punch and my fair share of the chocolate fountain later, and I was in heaven. For approximately 30 minutes. Then came this excruciating sugar hangover. I had a headache, I had an icky taste in my mouth. My muscles were all loose and weird feeling. I was exhausted! I kept telling myself, “Remember this feeling, Libby! Because we don’t want to feel this way again.” And it WAS a very helpful and I have called upon that feeling in moments of weakness since then. But you know what else? That feeling was really, really familiar to me. That feeling was how I’d been feeling for months and months before this experiment even started. And now I know exactly what it’s from. Why did I let myself walk around feeling like a can of garbage that whole time?! Sometimes you don’t realize how awful you feel until you’re better.
3. I haven’t wanted to be that one girl with the special diet among my friends and co-workers so I haven’t mentioned it at work at all. Mostly because there really is nothing all that special about it until I go grocery shopping. But earlier this week I was telling the story of my sugar hangover and in doing so had to mention, casually, that I haven’t had any sugar since September 1. Karen (who would adopt me as her grandchild if I asked), said, “Okay! That’s it! I’ve been trying to figure out what’s made you so different, lately and that must be it!” I asked what she meant by “different” and she said that she’s just noticed me being less cranky, less tired, just generally seeming happier and healthier. Then she made a joke about how she thought that Ryan moving in with me really made a huge difference on my mood and complexion.
But it turns out it was just my sugar intake. Don’t get me wrong, making a home with this incredible person sure isn’t causing any harm, but I think it has as much to do with how good I feel in my body these days.
Seeing results is huge for me. It can be difficult for me to adopt new changes if my only motivation is that I know, intellectually, that it’s good for me. Seeing changes, though, that makes it so much easier for me to feel like what I’m doing is working. It’s affecting myself AND the people around me in positive ways and that just blesses my heart above and beyond. It just goes to show that you can do a lot of good simply by taking care of yourself. When we are our best selves, that’s when we’ll be able to do the most good.
Anyway, I hope you have gorgeous days. Autumn is happening, so I don’t really see how things could be anything but lovely.
PS: As always if you have any questions about going sugar free (or anything, really), I’m no expert but I can sure open up a dialogue with you.