Stories Make Change: Update 1

**trigger warning: sexual assault**

I’m blown away by the response that’s already been received regarding yesterday’s post asking for stories. If you missed that post I really want to ask you to please go back and read it.

But for the TL;DR version:
I want to collect stories from women and men that share, from personal experience, what non-consent has looked like in their lives and the effect that remains. I want to post those stories (anonymously) to keep the conversation going and to change the general consensus of what sexual harm is.

What follows are the stories of non-consent that I’ve already collected, told in their own words. And I’ll update again as often as I can when new stories come in. They can be difficult to take in so I beseech you to utilize self-care in your reading. Check in regularly with your feelings and follow along in a way that is safe for you.

I’m overwhelmed with the way that you all have trusted me with your stories. If you have a story that you want to tell, please use the anonymous form found here or email me: libby (at) xoxolib.com

Continue reading “Stories Make Change: Update 1”

Page 91: Feminist Friday Feat. Sarai + GIVEAWAY

I debated about offering a trigger warning on this post because, while it does not go into explicit content, we do gently go into the subject of sexual assault. But I want to respect the autonomy of my readers and and give you the opportunity to make an informed decision for yourself about whether or not to read on. I hope you all have a lovely day.

My friends—do yourself a favor. Get up, go get a cup of coffee—maybe put on a pot of tea. Kick off your shoes and get yourself into a comfortable state because what we have for you is a big, juicy edition of Feminist Friday and I just know that you’ll be able to absorb more if you’re feeling really good and unhurried. Oh! We’ve got a giveaway happening, too! But just hold on. Put on your cozy socks and come on back.

We’ll wait.
Continue reading “Page 91: Feminist Friday Feat. Sarai + GIVEAWAY”

Page 73: Fake it ‘Till You Make It

The topic for today’s #xoxoselfie challenge is Fake It Till You Make It. And at first I couldn’t think of anything to post. I had whatever the Instagram version of writer’s block is. My main thought was, “I can’t afford to fake anything right now.”

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Truth is that I’m feeling a little bit low. A few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend about how when we go through something exciting, once we’re on the other end of it we can tend to get kind of inexplicably sad feeling despite how happy we really are in the long run. I don’t think that happens to everyone but it definitely happens to me. There’s been a ton of prep and now that it’s over—woosh… feelings come in. It happened after our wedding. For a few weeks after we came back to real life, I felt very low. Very sad. And that’s when I think I really learned that feelings aren’t very trustworthy. They’re valid—don’t get me wrong. But they wax and wane. And they roll in and out like the tide. So I want to tell you why I can’t afford to fake it till I make it, today. Not today.

Continue reading “Page 73: Fake it ‘Till You Make It”

Page 65: Introducing the #xoxoselfiechallenge

I say this every single year but just in case any of you are new and don’t know this about me, I just need to shout it from the rooftops: I LOVE VALENTINES DAY! Oh wait, before we go any further, you should be listening to this song while reading, to get the mood right.

I love all the hearts and pink and red and smoochy lips and glitter and bling that pops up in one of the most disgusting months of the entire year. Weather-wise, can you think of a more gross month? Ugh. This winter is long and our feelings aren’t doing great at all but at least there are roses in February.

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I’m also not one of those people who feels like February is for lovers. It’s not. It’s for love. It’s for love in the middle of the crummiest-feeling time of the year. Whoever invented Valentines Day knew what they were doing.

Because February is for love I’m making a point to celebrate all kinds of love. Yeah, I already got a smushy, mushy, gushy card for my husband but guess what else? I’m planning a Galentines Day Brunch for my girl friends, too (let me know if you want to come)! And I’m working to orchestrate something for all of you far and wide, too. But first let me back up real quick.

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Selfies get a bad rap. “She’s so vain.” “Look at her begging for attention.” “This guy’s just trying to get laid.” “She’s making the same face in every photo!”
To that, I say, “And?”
It feels really good to put yourself out there. It’s brave and vulnerable and fun. It’s easy, and not really all that fun, to criticize, though.

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I am a firm believer in selfies as a form of self-love. I don’t get mad when I see my friends posting photos of themselves, at all. I mean, in a world where we’re constantly being told that we’re too baggy, saggy, puffy, droopy, plump, wide, slim, young, old, or tired, any act of self-celebration is revolutionary. And I say let’s grab hands and march into battle, together, without apology!

So that’s why, for the month of February, XOXO, Lib is hosting a selfie challenge!
I wrote up a list of themes for each and every day to keep things interesting. We’ll post our selfies to Instagram with #xoxoselfiechallenge. Each week, with permission, I’ll grab a few from the hashtag thread to highlight and post here on the blog.
Some of these themes are pretty obvious but others are really vague—that was done by design. You can make this anything that you want it to be, really! Take ownership of your self(ie)!
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#xoxoselfiechallenge for February, 2016:
1. What I Like About Me
2. Action Shot
3. Feet First
4. Long Day
5. Bed Head
6. Nice Hair!
7. Celebrate
8. Twinning
9. Listen
10. Get Moving
11. Lunch Break
12. What’s up?
13. Best Friend
14. Sweet Treat
15. Guilty Pleasure
16. Full Frontal
17. Wake Up
18. New Perspective
19. Treat Yourself
20. Listen
21. Stre-e-e-e-tch
22. Angry Eyes
23. Hobby Time
24. Fake It (till you make it)
25. Morning Routine
26. Hard at Work
27. Clear Mind
28. Upgrade
29. Eat Green

Rules: Starting Monday, February 1st, anyone who wants to contribute can! You don’t have to do it every day—though that IS the challenge of it. You don’t even have to follow the list of themes. You make this into whatever works for you. But in the end, I want our community to come together over celebration of ourselves and each other!
The only real rule is that you take a photo that contains at least a little bit of yourself in it.
If you don’t have instagram, you can share your photos to the XOXO, Lib Facebook page or email them to me at libby(at)xoxolib.com and we’ll all get in on this together!
If you’re on board, let me know in the comments or on the Facebook page!! And if you want to share this with your friends to get them in on it, share this post!! The more people we get involved, the more fun that it will be. I’m so excited to get to know all of you just a little bit more and put a selfie to a name!

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Thank you, everyone, for giving me the opportunity to do what I really love to do. Just by reading and sharing you’re doing more than you know and I feel so utterly over the moon about it.

XOXO, Lib
Follow me on Instagram, too! I’m liblibby.