Stories Make Change: Update 1

**trigger warning: sexual assault**

I’m blown away by the response that’s already been received regarding yesterday’s post asking for stories. If you missed that post I really want to ask you to please go back and read it.

But for the TL;DR version:
I want to collect stories from women and men that share, from personal experience, what non-consent has looked like in their lives and the effect that remains. I want to post those stories (anonymously) to keep the conversation going and to change the general consensus of what sexual harm is.

What follows are the stories of non-consent that I’ve already collected, told in their own words. And I’ll update again as often as I can when new stories come in. They can be difficult to take in so I beseech you to utilize self-care in your reading. Check in regularly with your feelings and follow along in a way that is safe for you.

I’m overwhelmed with the way that you all have trusted me with your stories. If you have a story that you want to tell, please use the anonymous form found here or email me: libby (at) xoxolib.com

Continue reading “Stories Make Change: Update 1”

Page 81: Feminist Friday Feat. Laura

This is part of a long series of posts which will be known as Feminist Fridays. Because individuality is at the heart of feminism, I’m going to open up this space to different people each week to share with us a little portion of their unique journey.

Laura is another one of my friends that I’ve only known online. She’s also BFF with Jessica–who we met last week. Laura is a passionate, insightful, smart woman who I turn to any time that I need to be pumped up or educated. There is so much that I would love to tell you about Laura but we’ll just have to interview her again and again and again.

Laura was born and raised in Ohio, fell in love with a sailor, has nearly 3 children and currently lives in Washington, home of all things mossy and enchanted. She loves knitting, rolling her eyes at the patriarchy and talking about placentas.  IMG_0049 Continue reading “Page 81: Feminist Friday Feat. Laura”

You Are a Feminist and That’s Okay: A Response to “I’m Not a Feminist and That’s Okay”

On March 14 an essay was published on theodesseyonline.com by Amanda Sankey entitled “I Am Not a Feminist and That’s Okay.” I encourage you to go read it—not only because it will provide you with context for the conversation that I’m about to have but also because Amanda is a bright and talented writer and deserves to have her work seen. As a fellow writer and a Feminist, I work to encourage other women to do the work that they love and get credit for it. So go over there, click that link and give her some page views.

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Continue reading “You Are a Feminist and That’s Okay: A Response to “I’m Not a Feminist and That’s Okay””

Page 79: Fem Friday Feat. Jessica Valiant

This is part of a long series of posts which will be known as Feminist Fridays. Because individuality is at the heart of feminism, I’m going to open up this space to different people each week to share with us a little portion of their unique journey.

I’ve known and been perpetually inspired by Jessica for years and years. I met her on the internet and that’s still the only place I’ve ever known her. But that doesn’t make our connection and deep friendship any less real. She has a passion that lights fires in me and most everyone else who encounters her. She’s an educated, thoughtful woman with compassion and deep need to speak for the voiceless.
She’s also the Valiant side of the Valiant & Valkyrie Instagram account–a social action project aimed at promoting and educating about equality.

I asked Jessica for a quick bio and she gave me this, I think it gives you a pretty good taste of what kind of a person you’re in for, here.
I’m Jessica Valiant, wanted in 14 states for treason, I’ve been known to produce an aura of mass hallucinations, and I am a professional alien hunter.

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So let’s get to it!

What does feminism mean to you?
Feminism means that as a society we have work to do in order to create an equal space for women in the places “traditionally” bestowed upon men. It’s making space for women to be as masculine or feminine or androgynous as they want and be taken seriously as a human being. It points out the unique struggle of women in a patriarchal world and gives us a banner to join under to fight back. I feel like it’s the societal equivalent of The Enlightenment and even though to this day people deny what science can tell us, that has not stopped most people from coming out of the Dark Ages. Continue reading “Page 79: Fem Friday Feat. Jessica Valiant”

Page 77: Feminist Friday Feat Staci.

This is part of a long series of posts which will be known as Feminist Fridays. Because individuality is at the heart of feminism, I’m going to open up this space to different people each week to share with us a little portion of their unique journey.

I met Staci in 2011 when Ryan (who was not yet then my husband or even my boyfriend at the time) joined I Heard A Lion—a sweet, sweet local band. Staci’s husband, Doug, was also in the band at that time as well.

Staci has a special place in my heart; I can pin-point the exact moment when I realized that feminism had nothing to do with man-hating and destroying the family structure (which was the bizarre impression that I had before this). Staci was the first person that I’d ever heard refer to herself as a feminist. We were driving and she said it in such a nonchalant way–as if everyone is a feminist and it’s not weird. And in my mind, now, I feel like those things are kind of true but at the time this was a life-changing conversation that I was having.  I was open to learning a lot more about the subject after that. And here we are, today! So please welcome Staci! She wanted me to let you know that she’ll be all up in the comments section if you have any questions or thoughts at the end of this.

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So Staci, please tell us a little bit about you.
Hi, I’m Staci! I’ve lived in Colorado, Kansas, and California, but mainly California. I am interested in inspirational articles, food, travel, and dogs. I currently live in San Diego with my husband, Doug and dog, Mosey.
Continue reading “Page 77: Feminist Friday Feat Staci.”